The Thoughts of Gunnar

Epic Battle 1: Whitney Houston Vs. Celine Dion
May 30, 2008, 8:41 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Friday, December 21, 2007

Epic Battle 1: Whitney Houston Vs. Celine Dion

I got impassioned about this the other day with people, but SERIOUSLY, how can anyone like Celine Dion more than Whitney Houston, music wise. (And SERIOUSLY, is there anything better than debating who is better amongst two singers you won’t even willingly choose to listen to?) It is completely unfathomable to me. This is the true epic matchup: have Whitney sing 10 of Celine’s songs, and Celine sing 10 of Whitney’s songs, American Idol style and all, and who would win? There is no way that Whitney wouldn’t take it all. For instance, Whitney singing “I’m your lady, and you are my man,” (sidenote, that song is puke, but Whitney could make it tolerable due to her vast ‘keeping it real’ stage presence as opposed to Celine) while Celine tries to sing, “I’m Every Woman.” I mean, if I heard her do that, I would just start laughing, where as when Whitney sings, it, like it or not, you believe she believes what she is singing, and you are not going to mess with that.
And, while I am convinced Whitney has a more enjoyable voice, it is the conviction that these two sing with that gets me. When Celine sings anything, it makes me feel like someone is pouring velveeta on top of my head. It’s total cheese. Yet, Whitney, ever the saavy stage veteran as opposed to Celine, brings conviction with her voice and emotion.
Let’s not even get into starring roles. Can you imagine (the train wreck) if Celine replaced Whitney in The Bodyguard? How horrible that would have been for us all.
Now, truth be told, there really is no way I am listening to either of them myself, currently. But what does concern me is I have friends I deeply care about, and some of them, through some sort of misguided cult-like or just lack of brain development, willingly choose Celine. To me, that is like having the choice of eating organic veggies vs. polluted vegetables…there really is no choice. Great, listen to Celine, if you want. But, why in the heck would you not listen to like, 20 Whitney Houston songs for every one Celine song.
I need Jesse Lewis to comment on this.
PS-Lets bottom line it this way…people pay money, they earned, for Celine Dion’s music. Whereas, I would seriously give pocket change so as to not listen to it, if possible. Whitney has a few winner karaoke tunes. If I saw anyone karaoke Celine, and it was not out of sheer mockery, seriously, they need a solid friend to tell them what is up.


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