The Thoughts of Gunnar

How I ate Crap, Literally.
June 2, 2009, 6:27 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Life can be tough.

So, Danielle made some fantastic enchiladas, with some brown sauce on them, and late Sunday, I was eating them out of the cooking dish, just loving it.

Afterwards, I picked up Lincoln, and held him on my chest as we watched a few videos.

A few minutes later, I noticed I must of spilled some enchilada on my shirt, because it was all over the front.  Of course, I had to dip my finger in it because the sauce Danielle made was so good.

Problem was, it wasn’t enchilada sauce on my shirt.  It was Lincoln’s stool.

Fortunately, I had not at this point swallowed.  I could tell the taste was really bad, and I smelled my finger, and it smelled like death.  Oh, I was getting pissy fast.  (Pun intended.)

Again, not having swallowed, I got a paper towl, wiped off my tongue, and immediately began applying liberal doses of antibacterial soap to my tongue.

As a side note, I tasted a bar of soap a few times as a kid, and if you are at that stage of your life, and want to make it easier, beg your mother to use antibacterial soap.  It is better than a bar of soap, at least by my recollection.

I scrubbed my tongue like crazy.  I then prayed to God Almighty that I don’t get hepatitis or anything like that.  

Now, Danielle will verify I avoid crappy diapers in general, although I do step up from time to time to take care of business.  I hate being around crap.  So, this was literally my worst nightmare come true.  Just horrible.

Danielle laughed at it pretty hard, but I have to point out, her enchiladas are very, very good, but it may be a bad sign if one can confuse her enchiladas with human baby feces.  Just a point to consider.  

I guess my lesson learned is if I am going to continue to eat off of my shirt, I need to smell what I am eating first.


5 Comments so far
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My throat is closing in around itself just reading this as I try not to gag!


Comment by DotBlogger

Sorry, but I did feel that the title of it gave as much of a fair, clear warning as possible…”How I ate crap, literally.” I mean, I couldn’t put it much clearer than that. But I also hope this message goes out as a beacon of light to people everywhere so that they know, make extra, extra, extra sure that whatever it is you are eating, it is not poop.

Comment by gunnarblog

“We eat first with your eyes.” James Beard

You SAW it on your shirt dude. How about, don’t eat from there.

Comment by Todd

Yes, I saw it…but again, it looked like enchilada. Accuse me of being Eli-like, but, I assure you, I didn’t do it willingly. James Beard is the man.

Comment by gunnarblog

You gave us quite a chuckle there, Gunnar!
Oh My!
The next time Gracie asks you to tell her a silly story, you’ll know what to say.

Carter says: “James Bond’s new nemesis…
‘Brown Finger’!”

Comment by christajean

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